It’s Over

Time for your daily awww….

I’m not a fan of Anna Akana though we do apparently have cats in common. But this is nicely done, including the animation work by Bethany Radloff.

Being social creatures, humans begin, edit, or end attachments — relationships, if you will — all the time. Ending a major attachment is a lot like dying — and if you read that here first, I’m surprised. So when it seemed to me that Akana was being a bit over the top about this, I thought back to when I was 20 something and breaking up with a lover might not have been the end of the world, “but you can see it from there.”

Some people have real difficulty with this. The only way they feel clear to end an attachment is to destroy it, to pick fights, to suddenly discover all those things you do not have in common. It seems to me that this is most often not a consciously calculated tactic and that even when there is a conscious narrative, the narrative comes after the actual decision. Ending often does not bring out the best in people.

Mind you, this doesn’t only apply to attachments between individuals, it works much the same with membership in groups. Some people can only leave by slamming the door.

And that’s really too bad, for even attachments / relationships that end sometimes leave us with more than what we had to start with. Burning a bridge all too often burns more than the bridge.

Regardless of how love ends, it does leave a hole in the soul. As Paul Simon wrote:

And she said losing love
Is like a window in your heart
Everybody sees you’re blown apart
Everybody sees the wind blow

— Graceland

You can try to close the window, patch the hole — call it rebounding when in the context of love. I stopped patching holes long, long ago. Now when I look within, I find I encompass a multitude of holes. It’s not comfortable and I don’t know about being strong. But it makes a lovely mournful sound when the wind blows.